While I have shared about my near death experiences before, I have not fully, for varying reasons. I had to learn to hold the energy of my own awakenings, for they are directly tied to my mission, purpose and medicine. My Star Family wants me to share my first experience, as it was my first hard “call” and came with the least ferocity. This time from a greater vantage point, as I have evolved much since my first public share of this. The full expression of these experiences are woven with sacred numbers tied to my ever growing riddle, which is connected to my very essence and star lineage. It will materialize in my book, for now I offer a piece, for it began an awakening that played out for many years to come.
To set the stage of where my consciousness was at this time in my life, I want to share that I had become good at disguising myself as normal and I kept my eyes away from spirit as best I could. Although I could see many energies and beings, I looked away, so to speak. I spent my time going out to clubs and parties, while being an assistant manager at a lingerie shop. I did not have ambitions or direction; I was impulsive and lived day by day. I did know my star family was close and watching, but I somehow loved and denied them simultaneously.
I was 18 years old, at home in my moms apartment eating dinner on my bed, when all of a sudden I felt a strange and painful feeling in the nook between my thumb and pointer finger. The next thing I saw was so crazy I didn't know how to even see what I was seeing.
I was standing in an enormous tunnel and all along the sides movies were playing, tons of different experiences, all of my lifetimes bright in color and happening now. As I watched each one would grow large and I would see myself living all these ways, looking different… I was overwhelmed and calm at the same time, until they began to speak to me. Voices thundered through my head and body and they were everywhere. They told me
“IT'S TIME TO BEGIN, YOU HAVE WAITED LONG ENOUGH, THE MISSION MUST BEGIN.”
I was panicked and put my hands over my ears and ran as fast as I could, screaming No.
I came to, back in my room with my mom freaking out telling me I had a big seizure. I felt fine and I jumped up and began to tell her what they told me and what I saw. She couldn't hear me, she was so worried but, because I was up and acting normal ish she didn't call an ambulance. She did, however, take me to a neurologist the next day, who was an arrogant little man who laughed when I told him what I saw and he told me that it was just my brain misfiring. I refused to go back and she took me to a doctor of Chinese medicine. I longed to be heard, their voices still spoke to me and I did not realize it was to them I needed confirmation, not people of the experience. I was young and unaware and really was seeking confirmation of some kind for anyone.
When I meet with the doctor he sat and quietly listened as I shared my story and I could see he was hearing me, although I could tell he didn’t understand. He told me his teacher would be visiting soon, that he was very old but still worked with some clients and that he could help me. I agreed and met with him a week later. When I walked into the office there was a small old man from China smiling and I immediately felt calm. His presence was still and excessively patient, he asked me to place my hand on a small silk pillow while he felt my pulse and listened. I told him what I experienced and he appeared to understand, smiling the whole time. He told me I had to stop drinking and sleep regular, he gave me a bunch of medicine I had to ritually prepare every day and after he gave me acupuncture I feel asleep on the table under a heat lamp for hours. When I awoke I asked why they let me sleep so long, he simply said “you need it and they told me allow you to rest”. I was so groggy that it didn’t hit me until I got home home what he said. Did he mean the same ones that spoke to me in the tunnel? Did he know them too?!
As I would continue to deny my purpose and mission as I tumbled along my path and continued on with my reckless life. Now when I look at this I see where so many energies intersect and how much my star family has been with me the whole time. The awakening process is very different for everyone and without a doubt, highly unique for a starseed like myself. I hope this inspires some to look closer at some situations, experiences, visits you may have with a new eye and perspective. My experiences are my own and I am in no way inferring seizures are the same for others.
Anais